You know what is REALLY sexy? Honesty. Loyalty. Communication. Friendship. Stability. Trust. Security. We have gotten way too used to drama and games these days in dating. When someone healthy shows up in our life we are not 'attracted' to it because it is not challenging. A little challenge is good and necessary, alot is a waste of time. We have become so used to falling for the 'un-available' that when the 'wonderfully available" actually shows up, we pass them by...calling it boring. We have to re-train ourselves to get used to healthy love. Everyone says they want it until it actually shows up. We don't even give it a second thought most of the time...we just say "there is no chemistry". Well we need to get better at differentiating chemistry from attraction. Sadly we are drawn to what we need to heal the most in ourselves. If we rely solely on attraction, we will find the wound over and over again. Chemistry happens within us. When we are drawn to someone...explainable but undeniable. Pay attention to it whether you understand it or not. Chemistry is a science based on an emotional and psychological connection...attraction is purely physical. We need to know what we want and NEED from a partnership before we attempt to get into one. We have to be able to recognize healthy love and a healthy partner. We may even have to change some things in our life and heart to accommodate this kind of love...but it's worth it. Dating just to date is a waste of time. If love is what we are after then it is a very deliberate process...and sometimes that means really LOOKING at what you really value in a partner. It's amazing how the definition of 'sexy' changes over the years...